Klan Members for Kamala (Satire)

The grandmaster of the Ku Klux Klan made a shocking and full-throated endorsement of Kamala Harris today. In a press conference on Sunday outside a McDonald’s in Boyertown, Pennsylvania, he stated that the values of the Democratic Party align perfectly with those of the Klan. He further suggested that the only path forward involves a peaceful union between Antifa and the KKK.

Local Pennsylvania Democrats responded with glee. One resident, known as "Cooch Juice," even remarked, "I fully welcome the KKK endorsement. We shouldn’t be burdened by the past—lynchings were once commonplace, and we can’t forget history, but we can move on as long as we agree that Christians and white guys are the devil."

Our investigative instigator, known as "Freaky and Free from FEMA Region 3," showed remarkable tenacity in contacting the Harris campaign. Through diligent efforts, they secured an exclusive statement regarding the endorsement.

Harris said, "Listen, we’re making history here. And when I say history, I mean history. So, I’m just delighted to share that the KKK—yes, you heard me, the KKK—has recognized the work we’re doing. This is unity, this is growth, this is progress, and it’s a big deal. Because when you think about it, if even they can come around, well, that’s just—wow. We’re really doing something here, people. Let’s keep pushing forward."